oh hey.

It's easier to say that you don't care Than to admit that you're hurt.

10.17.2010

realize.


Just stop the pretend
I want it all to end
stop asking the same
this pain isn’t a game

Keep hiding behind a smile
I've been doing it for awhile
no one knows it’s a lie
its almost time to say goodbye

I cant take it any longer
I’m not getting any stronger
I wish I could let it go
if only feelings I could show

You ask if im okay
and believe whatever I say
please don’t listen to me
this isn’t how I wanna be

Please see through to my tears
notice all my sorrow and fears
finally realize that im not fine
realize that all along I've been lyin’.

10.11.2010

in my skin.


I look in the mirror
and I hate what I see
I understand exactly
why no one wants me

You say that I’m pretty
But why do you lie
Say it one more time
I think I might die

I see the attention
you get while we’re out
no one notices me
you’re what it’s all about

Comfortable in my skin
ha it’s just a disguise
There’s nothing to say
that can prove to you guys

You just don’t know
what it’s like to be
the ugliest in the group
I wish you could see

I laugh all the time
just smiling away
But I cry myself to sleep
at the end of the day

I’m falling apart
and nobody knows
But I’ll be okay
it’s the way it always goes.

9.21.2010

sorry.

Once again it’s all on me
Not sure how to say sorry
Over and over it happens like this
into the ground I pound my balled fists

Maybe walking alone is best
try not to worry about all the rest
don't ever look behind you
or you know the pain’ll find you

Got me feelin’ so low
but I don’t let it show
just needa get through it
gonna push myself through it

But in case I look behind
in case time can rewind
just please listen to me
and know that I'm sorry

I'm sorry that I messed all this up
and I'm sorry that sorry will never be enough.

9.14.2010

fly away.


Sometimes I close my eyes
and fly away to another place
don’t bother saying goodbyes
where im going no one knows my face

I'll start all over, begin anew
clear the tears from my cheek
theres nothing I wouldn’t do
to stay here week after week

But the sharp pain in my heart
brings me back to what is real
I remember how im falling apart
how nothing can help me heal.

8.22.2010

you know the feeling you get.

You know the feeling you get when you feel all alone in a room full of people? When you know that you're surrounded by friends who care but none of them can make you feel any better? When all of those friends are willing to talk to you but you just can't find the words to describe how you feel?


Lonely. Depressed. Confused. 


You know the feeling you get when you want to be happy but you just can't? When you can laugh and smile and have fun but it's just not the same anymore? When you feel like you're losing yourself?


Sad. Frustrated. Hopeless. 


You know the feeling you get when a really good friend leaves? When you feel like you're missing something inside? When you know nothing is ever gonna make it right again?


Hurt. Heartbroken. Disappointed.


You know the feeling you get when that person moves on? When that person replaces you with someone else? When that person pretends that you don't exist, that you never meant anything in the first place?


Grief. Resent. Vulnerable.


You know the feeling you get when you know that you messed up? When you know that it's all your fault? When you know that there's nothing you can do to fix it?


Anger. Guilt. Regret.


You know the feeling you get when everything starts falling apart?



F e a r .


You know the feeling you get when you start to get over it?


Hope. Relief. Courage.


You know the feeling you get when you finally start to forgive yourself? When you realize that it's not worth the tears anymore? When you realize that you're better than this?


Secure. Confident. Peace.


You know the feeling you get when you can go a whole day without feeling bad about yourself? When you know that you're loved? When you can go a day without thinking about it?


Optimistic. Tranquil. Happy.


You know the feeling you get when you realize that you don't need them anymore? When their name just doesn't make you smile anymore? When you start to really laugh and really smile?


Calm. Strong. Together.


You know the feeling you get when you're comfortable being alone with your thoughts? When you know that everything's gonna be okay? When you know that you're gonna be okay?

race.

I run into the woods
letting everything go
losing my focus
going out of control

I push on and on
the trees whiz past
the ground is all blurry
im going way too fast

I stop and fall to the ground
as tears streak down my face
my head makes the world spin
there’s no way ill finish this race

Gotta end this right now
it’s a race against time
I gotta make it all stop
under pressure in the mind

But I cant handle the pain
its all become too great
my life was filled with love
but now all that’s left is hate.

8.15.2010

here's to forever.

here's to last night
the end of our fight
where nothing felt right
now even in the nightlight

here's to today
where i'll waste away
pretending i'm okay
i have nothing to say

here's to tomorrow
already full of sorrow
my broken heart is hollow
it's all so hard to swallow

and here's to forever
'cause you promised me forever
and lie, you would never
but it's too late now, it's over.

8.14.2010

toe taps are completely worthless.

Today was the first day of fall sport tryouts. Football and field hockey on the bermuda fields, soccer  on the turf and lower fields, volleyball  in the gym, and cross country everywhere. So why am I telling you this? Because I'm about to tell you what sport I play, I'm about to tell you my fall sport story.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Freshman year I tried out for soccer, because soccer is what makes me happy, it's my happy place in this world of doom and gloom. It's something that I always feel comfortable doing, not because I'm good, but because I really don't care what other people say, because I love playing. Unfortunately, when the list of names was posted up against the gym door after tryouts, my name wasn't on it. I had been cut. I was crushed, but I got over it.

Sophomore year was much the same. And to my disappointment I was cut, again. I didn't understand. They say that when you fall down, the strong get right back up. And I got right back up from freshman year's, in my book, failure, and I had tried out again. So why didn't I make it? I was better than half the girls that tried out...Once again, I was crushed. But instead of sitting around everyday from 2 in the afternoon to around 6 at night, one of my friends introduced me to cross country. It was like nothing I had ever done before. As a freshman, I'd see people from the cross country team running miles and miles a day and I'd think to myself, who the hell would ever join cross country willingly?? Ironically, I found myself running those miles and miles a day. The running was tough, I mean really tough, both physically and mentally, but I did it. The coach was a bitch, but my teammates were no less than amazing. They found ways to keep me laughing on days where all I wanted to do was quit, they were the best support system I could have asked for. Being so supportive and accepting, they became my second family.

But, as much as I liked cross country, or rather as much as I liked the team, I hadn't given up on soccer just yet. So, as I walked onto the soccer field for tryouts junior year, I thought to myself, third time's the charm. Well apparently third time wasn't the charm, and by the end of tryouts, I was sure something was wrong with the coaches. I was cut for the third time. So, I turned back to cross country. Once again, my teammates were amazing, and my second family grew closer and closer. If I had cut out the part where my coach called me negative and told me that I brought the whole team down, then it would have been an almost perfect year. The running became more and more bearable as I got stronger and stronger, and I started falling in love with cross country, not as much as I loved soccer, but pretty close.

So when senior year rolled around, I had a choice to make. Soccer, the love of my life, or cross country, the sport where my second family was, the sport that I had begun to love too? I thought over this question for days, trying to reason with myself that one choice was better over the other, trying to convince myself that soccer would be the best choice. But then I thought about it, I really thought about it. And I realized that maybe the reason that I didn't make the soccer team any of the years that I tried out was because I wasn't supposed to make the soccer team. Not trying to be cocky, but I'm not a bad soccer player, so maybe I didn't make the team because I somehow was meant to be on cross country.

Today was the first day of soccer tryouts. But, today was also the first day of cross country tryouts. I went to cross country tryouts. And as I looked across the field where the soccer players were passing and dribbling, I realized that I'm okay with my decision, that I don't regret not trying out for soccer. And when I looked around at the faces sitting around me, I smiled, and for once in a long while, I truly felt happy, and I truly felt a sense of belonging.

It was then that I knew that, even when I felt like the running was going to be the end of me, this was the sport that I loved, and that these were the people that I loved, the people who would stand by me and support me no matter what. And I knew that I wouldn't be happy anywhere else. Why? Because cross country is where I belong.

8.10.2010

forgiveness.


They say that it’s easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.

And I guess this is true, because when your friends disappoint you, you’re let down more because you expected more of them. You hurt more because you thought higher of them, so it’s harder to forgive them for making you hurt when you expected so much more out of them. An enemy you expect the least of. So when they disappoint you…well you expected it!

But with you? We're no longer "friends", but I still consider you one of the people I'm closest to, one of my best friends. And I would forgive you in a second. And it would be so easy.

When we were friends, it sometimes seemed that the more you hurt me, and the more you let me down, the easier it was to forgive you. I guess it’s because you were the one person I could never be mad at, the one person who made my life worth living. Maybe I was all too willing to give you another try, but maybe I wanted you to have another chance, maybe I wanted you to have as many chances as you needed to be a great friend. And maybe I was scared that if I didn’t forgive you…then I’d lose you forever.

In the end though, no matter how willing I was to forgive you, I still lost you.

But I still need you, and now I'm left holding on to something that’s long gone. And, after everything we’ve been through, I would still forgive you in that one second. If you ever decide that you miss me too, then I’ll be ready to forgive you, no matter how long that takes, because you’re the one person who no matter how much you hurt me, or no matter how much you let me down, I will always forgive. You’re the one person who I will always love.

8.06.2010

pay.


Got nothing to prove
nothing left to lose
I’m on my own
living life all alone

Don’t care what you say
won’t give you the time of day
nothing matters anymore
I’m done fighting in this war

Gotta get outta this place
put a fake smile on my face
nobody knows
how my story goes

Forgetting is no good
makes it hurt more than it should
can’t escape all the pain
just end up crying in the rain

This isn’t me
isn’t who I wanna be
but the pain won’t go away
and my heart is starting to pay.

8.04.2010

think of me.


The rain streaks down the window
I want to tell you but you already know
The thunder cracks, the lightning lights
I’m so sick and tired of all these fights

Outside it’s foggy, the inside is too
But I know no one could ever replace you
Nothing else is clear, not sure where I’m going
But I can’t go without knowing

Do you still care? Do you still need me?
No you don’t, so why can’t I see?
Why do I care? Why do I need your acceptance?
Why can’t I lean on my own independence?

Oh that’s right, you made me this way
You gave me no choice, I have nothing to say
As my self esteem dropped you turned
Left me alone, my mind to be burned

Can’t take it, with or without you
It hurts to think but I know it’s true
The latter I’ll have to take, but you chose it
So don’t give me anymore of this bullshit

When you’re hurt and lonely
Don’t you dare think of me
You did this, you ran away
And it’ll never ever be okay.

8.02.2010

hurt.

And when it finally hits you, when you finally realize that it's never gonna be the same, that's when it really starts to hurt.

Sometimes I think about what used to be, and I realize that after everything that's happened, and after everything I've done, it's never going to be the same. The pieces are never going to come together for me. Sure, it'll be the same for everyone else. They won't even notice that I'm not there. It'll be as if I never existed at all. It'll be as if I was never a big part in their lives. And that's when it starts to really hurt.

These thoughts make the already falling tears stream faster. In the dark, the tears are easy to hide, the pain is easy to hide. But what happens when the sun comes up? It hurts to think that other people will be worried about me...I don't want them to worry. I don't want them to feel bad for me. I want to be left to deal with this on my own. I don't want people to care, because I need to feel horrible by myself. I need people to stop asking me when they know I'm not okay. I can't hide the pain. I can't make it disappear, and in a sick way it's a good thing. The pain is a tiny reminder that what used to be...was real. The remaining sting is proof that it's not just a dream. That I did have something great once. But, it's also a reminder that that great thing...is gone.

I don't even know if that "great thing" was so great. I think back on all the bad things. And how much the situation hurt me. But then I'm overwhelmed with everything good about it, everything that I miss, everything that makes me regret whatever I've done to end this.

But, as much as I should, I don't blame them for leaving. I wouldn't want to be my friend either. I would do the same thing to me if I were them. I would put me down and stomp all over me if I were them. I would treat me like shit if I were them. I would leave myself too if I were them. Because I don't deserve anything else...

sinking in.


Sinking In

It happened a day ago
feels like a year
you got up and left
me alone standing here

It’s still sinking in
and the hardest part
is knowing you won’t come after me
won’t rescue my heart

Thought I’d be glad
when you disappeared
but now I’m not sure
the pain is worse than I feared

I cry the night away
not knowing why
confused about how
I was forced to say goodbye

There’s no turning back
I know you’re gone for good
but would I change anything
if I really could

The hurt is equal
both of the ways
putting up with you
or being alone through the days

I try by myself
but before I begin
I turn to look for you
‘cuz it’s still sinking in.

7.29.2010

routine.

Routine-

Same thing everyday
it’s one of those routines
wake up, find a way
to uncover what life means.

End the day, make it fast
get through it all alone
we all know that nothing lasts
every problem becomes your own.

Sit in the corner, cry it out
while holding yourself together
don’t tell no one what it’s about
‘cause you know they won’t stay forever.

Stand up, crawl in bed
struggle through the pain
forget what they all said
they left you in the rain.

Say goodbye to everyone
you’re leaving them behind
promise them that you’re done
date at the top and sign.

Walk away and don’t look back
they never cared at all
now company is what you lack
no one will catch you when you fall.

7.28.2010

it never changes.

Every day is the same. It's like a big cycle. I wake up, survive through the day, and go bad to sleep. Nothing ever changes. The same people hate me. The same people are fake to me. The same people make jokes about me that aren't funny. The same people leave me out. The same people talk about me. The same people laugh at me. The same people make inside jokes without me. The same people never notice that I'm gone. And then the same people try to comfort me. The same people try to help me. And every time the same thing happens, and every time the comforting never works. Nothing ever changes.


But then I look back. And everything is different. The people I used to be friends with are gone. The people I used to trust I now mistrust. The people who used to accept me don't anymore. The same people who used to comfort me don't care about how I feel now. The people who used to always be there for me have left, and they don't plan on coming back.


So why is that? Why is it that everything is the same yet everything is so different? Maybe it's because the changes are small. So small that we hardly notice them while they are happening. Maybe everything changes every day, we just don't realize it until later when we can see the difference that has been made, when we can see the changes in our life.


Sometimes I wonder why things change. I wonder why bad things happen. I wonder why people stop caring and why people leave. And each time I wonder about these things, I feel even more lost than I did before. I don't know why things change, or why bad things happen, or why people stop caring and leave, but I do know one thing--sometimes there's just nothing we can do to change the change that is happening...

7.26.2010

emiliaa(:


happy birthdaay emiliaa! I can't believe you're finally seventeen! So we've been friends for..how long now?  Let's see. We met in fifth grade when you "found" Maryssa's pencil on the ground. And then there was sixth grade when we were like biffs and Olivia Lawson yelled at you for writing congratulations Bush on the chalkboard of Mrs. Robinson's class. Then there was seventh grade when you tried to push Marisa out of a window(: hahah and you me Karina and Marisa were in the guidance office like every single day for like two weeks in a row. Oh and there was also that time that I screamed at you in Mrs. Ryan's classroom. Good times good times! haha jk. And then there was eighth grade. DRAMA. haha we were friends and you liked this boy and then I ended up "dating" him and then you were mad and then I got mad because you would call him like every day and talk to him for hours. Maybe I was just jealous that it was so easy for you to talk to boys. For you to talk to people in general. It's probably because you're gorgeous and people love talking to you. Moving on to ninth grade we were friends again! And then more drama in tenth grade and then junior year. I feel like all the drama that goes on between us just brings us even more closer than we were before. Or the fact that we're fighting a common enemy...haha that could be a reason too! Alright now not really fighting an enemy...but we're both basically being excluded from a certain group with certain people who for some reason think it's okay to use us as just a last resort or when they're left with no one to talk to. That's seven years. And if you put a two in front of that seven. You get a twenty seven. Twenty seven is the minimum amount of years I want to be friends with you. Twenty seven is also the number of times I wish I could tell you that you were beautiful every single day, because I don't think you know it. And finally, twenty seven, or the twenty seventh, is the day you were born. It's your birthday! Or rather in just under four hours it will be your birthday. But I'm posting this now, so that you can feel beautiful and loved from even before you're birthday ends until tomorrow night when you're birthday ends. And hopefully I can keep you convinced long after that(: I'm extremely glad you were born emilia. Like you have noo idea. You're basically the only one who I can talk to about anything and everything now. You're the only one who I've been able to do that with for awhile now. And we all know how hard it is to find someone who understands everything you're going through and is always there when you need them. One who can make you smile on your worst days and who loves you no matter what you do. One who won't leave. If it weren't for you I don't know where I'd be today, but I guaratee you that I'd be in worse shape than I am now. I thank God every day for giving me such a beautiful, supportive, and amazing best friend!

So today (or tomorrow) is your day emilia. And I hope it's as amazing and wonderful as you are! Thank you for always being there for me, through the rain and the shine(: , and I want you to know that I'll always be there for you. No matter how late in the night it is, or how far away I am, or how big of a fight we are in, you can always call me and I'll be there(:

I love youuuu(:

xoxo,
Jennnn

7.24.2010

distance.

distance.

the feeling of not being close. the feeling that things around you have gotten so bad that even the ones who once were so close to you can no longer understand. the feeling that youre alone.

I look into the distance
Not knowing what I’ll find
It’s been awhile since things’ve made sense
And I can’t make up my mind

I feel so alone, waiting for things to change
I wait and wait and wait
For things to rearrange
But maybe it’s too late

Too late to change the past
I need to change what’s now
‘Cause forever doesn’t last
And it’s not worth my vow

I need to get away from here
Away from all the pain
Things’ll only get worse I fear
So tell me, why do I remain?

I want to run away
From you and all your shit
I’ve got nothing to say
To you and that I’ll admit

So many things you’ve done
You didn’t even realize
So I need to leave, to run
Before more tears fall from these eyes

It’s getting worse and worse
This is exactly what I need
And I’m leaving now, it’s a first
But my absence you won’t heed

That’s okay, I’ll be alright
As soon as you’re finally, out of my sight.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
& honestly...

7.22.2010

the longest 2 minutes of your life.

you know when youre having a really intense conversation with someone, or you send a risky text, and you want them to respond right away? the two minutes they take to respond are the longest two minutes of your life.

well not literally, since every minute is exactly 60 seconds and the seconds are always at the same length, but you know what i mean.

so youre sitting there, on your bed, or your couch, or your floor, or wherever the heck you happen to be. and you look at your phone every second, hoping to see the screen light up. and every other one second you click one of the buttons, forcing the screen to light up, checking to see if maybe you missed the little buzz that alerts you of a new message.

after a minute of glancing and clicking at your phone, you open up your sent box to make sure the message actually sent. theres nothing more annoying than waiting for a text back from someone and then finally giving up and deciding they arent going to text back, only to realize that your "sent" message never actually sent.

so you make sure it sent. and it did. but they STILL havent responded. it's been a minute and a half. youre getting scared now, because it feels like its been forever. maybe they have fallen asleep, or have gone to the store, or got into the shower, or done something that has kept them from responding.

its been a minute and 50 seconds now. and you draw a mental picture of them, giving them a mental punishment for ignoring you.

at a minute 54, you open up the message, debating whether or not to send it again. would that be annoying? is that why they stopped texting back? are they annoyed? do they hate you? oh no, what have you done?...

you move your finger away from the send button 4 seconds later, deciding that you must have done something wrong and clearly they do not want to talk to you any more.

its been a minute and 59 seconds, and youre about to turn off your phone in disappointment. you will wait another second before smashing down the power button. they have one second to respond. its been waaay too long. or so it feels.

2 minutes. you move to turn your phone off. but as your finger touches the power key, the screen lights up.

THEY'VE TEXTED YOU BACK!

7.21.2010

keep your friends close, and your enemies closer...

So you know the saying keep your friends close and your enemies closer? Well I was thinking about that today, and I realized people actually do that...Like I know this girl, we'll call her girl number one. So original I know. Anyways, girl number one absolutely cant stand this other girl, girl number two, because girl number two used to date her boyfriend. buuuut girl number one doesnt tell girl number two that she hates her. no! she pretends to be girl number two's best friend.

DRAMA.

you know what I think? I think it's a smart strategy. see girl number two might think that girl number one is just trying to be her friend and be nice, but really, girl number one is only pretending to be girl number two's best friend to keep an eye on her. you see by keeping her enemy, or the ex-girlfriend of her current boyfriend, under her wing as a friend, girl number two begins to trust girl number one and she starts telling girl number one all these secrets while girl number one just sits back and soaks up all this information to use as blackmail.

MORE DRAMA.

but, what if girl number two is doing the same thing as girl number one? what if girl number two is just pretending to be best friends with girl number one just like girl number one is just pretending to be best friends with her?

DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNN !

The Nightmare Before Prom


“No, no, no, no!” I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping that when I opened them I’d be back in my bed.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Beep. Beep. BEEP. BEEP!” My alarm clock got louder and louder the longer I waited to turn it off.
“Ugh.” I smashed down the off button and rolled out of bed. I was just about to start complaining to myself about having to go to school when I realized…tonight was prom!
Immediately I was awake and ready to start the day. I walked into my bathroom and looked in the mirror. Well I could have used a little more sleep last night. I shook my head and began my morning routine. Taking each contact out of the case, I slid them into my eyes one at a time. I grabbed my neon green toothbrush and Colgate toothpaste off the rack next to the sink. After putting a plump of paste onto my toothbrush and running my toothbrush under cold water, I began to brush to the toon of “Break Your Heart” by Tao Cruz, which played softly from my shower radio. I spit out the remainder of the paste from my mouth and rinsed. Ahh nice and fresh. I smiled at myself in the mirror. Checking the clock, and realizing that I was four and a half minutes behind schedule, I quickly washed my face and threw on sweats and a t-shirt.
I hopped down the carpet-padded stairs to the kitchen, where my brother sat at the table eating Cocoa Pebbles. I pulled out my favorite cereal, Blueberry MiniWheats, put some into a bowl, poured two percent milk on top, and started eating.
I finished my cereal, grabbed my brown paper bag lunch, and headed out the door, backpack over shoulder, to where my friend, Sam, waited in her car.
“Good morning Sam!” I slammed the car door shut, “Ready for tonight?!”
“You have noo idea!”
“Ah, I’m so excited!” We continued to talk about our excitement for the rest of the fifteen minute drive to school.
The day passed slowly, and every time I looked at the clock, the second hand seemed to move slower and slower until finally the final bell rang. I rushed home. Tonight was a big night, and I had to look my best, so I’d need as much time as I could get to prepare.
I started with my hair. I pulled my black hairbrush from my sink drawer and began to brush through my silky blonde hair. And then something happened…my brush started pulling out huge chunks of blonde hair from my skull! I looked in the mirror, only to find that half of my head was already bald and the rest of my hair was falling off like a waterfall! Oh no…After twenty minutes of freaking out, I decided that I would just have to go to prom bald.
Next was my dress. I went into my closet where I had hung my purple, satin, floor length dress, only to find a purple astronaut suit in its place. What the hell…? I put on the astronaut suit and looked in the mirror.
Alright so I was going to prom, bald in an astronaut suit. But it could have been worse right? Like at least the astronaut suit was purple…and I didn’t look too bad in it.
After my parents took pictures of me in my astronaut suit, I headed out to the front of my house where my limo was waiting. Or where my limo was supposed to be waiting…Greaaat.
I looked around for something I could drive instead. I’m going to be soo late! Suddenly, I remembered that my neighbor had parked his horse in his garage. And it must have been my lucky minute, because his garage door was wide open.
I jumped on Horsey, which was the name of his horse, and rode off to prom. Turns out prom wasn’t in the beautiful Sansan hotel, but in a…brown barn? Okay then…I parked Horsey next to all the limos that other people had arrived in and walked into the barn ballroom, where I danced the night away in my purple astronaut suit.
After prom, the after party was held at my house. All the guests arrived right on time, and they ate from platters of…cheese that were around the room? Sam was there, but her dress seemed to have grown three sizes too big and now hung around her ankles…What is going on…All of a sudden, the party was interrupted by a loud beeping noise that filled the air. The guests looked around in confusion and fear. Giant pillows came down from the sky and started attacking my house!
“No, no, no, no!” I squeezed my eyes shut, rolling back and forth, still screaming “no.” This was not how my prom and my party were supposed to go. My arms flew wildly out of control until they hit something hard. Silence. I opened my eyes. Everything was so bright. My eyes adjusted just in time to see a large, fluffy pillow coming towards my face.
“Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!” It was my brother trying to wake me up by hitting me in the face with pillows. I looked around. I was still in my bed. I ran to the mirror. My hair was still there! I ran to my closet. My purple, satin dress was not an astronaut suit! I breathed a sigh of relief. It had all been a dream…and there were no pillows attacking my house, just my brother attacking me. And the only loud beeping noise had been coming from my alarm clock trying to wake me up for the exciting day and night ahead of me. Prom was tonight.

pringles.

So this is my first blog post(:

Today was a beautiful day. It was in the high 80's and the sun was out shining. It was a perfect day for a...game of tennis. At precisely 12:48 in the afternoon, I started to prepare myself to play tennis. I picked up my bright orange drawstring bag, threw my racket and balls inside and pulled it closed. I then proceeded to make a peanut butter sandwich, carefully pulling the crust off when I was finished. Then I left my house to take the five minute walk up to the park.

DUN DUN DUN DUNNNN.

I arrived at the park at exactly 12:59 pm. I went into the tennis courts and began to stretch for the intense game of...tennis. After stretching every muscle from head to toe, I pulled out my racket and did one of those dramatically slow, intimidating strides onto the court. It only took one stride, but that one stride was the most intense stride I've ever taken. I can hear that chinese music that signifies tension playing in the background as I eye my opponents. I serve...and the ball goes over the fence. YES! I do a victory lap around my side of the court. I'm definitely in it to win it.

Alright, so I lost the game. But that's perfectly okay because after being crushed on the court I came home and ate a can of Pringles.

It's chill. My life is legit.