it's funny.

it's funny she thinks

how everyone says forever

but how forever never lasts

it's funny how they’re gone

it's funny how little trust she has

in the world around her

she’s been hurt too much

everything’s gone too far

it's funny how many lies

they said that she believed

it's funny how stupid

she felt after believing

it's funny how many times

she told herself she was fine

it's funny how many people

didn’t even notice she was lying

it's funny how time after time

she gave out second chances

because she dreamed

it would be different next time

it's funny how the people

that said that they’d changed

we’re only two-faced bitches

too self-absorbed to care

it's funny how every single time

it was all blamed on her

it's funny how she carried the pain

how no one saw her struggle

it's funny how she thought

that secrets could be kept

but even at her lowest points

no one could keep their mouth closed

it's funny how time changes

but people remain the same

everything keeps moving

but she’s standing perfectly still

it's funny how she’s alone

how there’s no one left to turn to

it's funny how she smiles through it

and people think she’s fine

it's funny how she says she doesn’t care

and then cries alone in her room

it's funny how she crouches on the floor

holding herself together

it's funny how she’s lost faith

in everything and everyone

it's funny how she’s done

how she doesn’t care anymore

it's funny how she wants to run

to escape what’s in her mind

to get away from this place

and isolate herself

it's funny how she’s leaving

how the last tear has dropped

it's funny because its over

and it's funny because she’s done.

realize.

Just stop the pretend

I want it all to end

stop asking the same

this pain isn’t a game

Keep hiding behind a smile

I've been doing it for awhile

no one knows it’s a lie

its almost time to say goodbye

I cant take it any longer

I’m not getting any stronger

I wish I could let it go

if only feelings I could show

You ask if im okay

and believe whatever I say

please don’t listen to me

this isn’t how I wanna be

Please see through to my tears

notice all my sorrow and fears

finally realize that im not fine

realize that all along I've been lyin’.

in my skin.

I look in the mirror

and I hate what I see

I understand exactly

why no one wants me

You say that I’m pretty

But why do you lie

Say it one more time

I think I might die

I see the attention

you get while we’re out

no one notices me

you’re what it’s all about

Comfortable in my skin

ha it’s just a disguise

There’s nothing to say

that can prove to you guys

You just don’t know

what it’s like to be

the ugliest in the group

I wish you could see

I laugh all the time

just smiling away

But I cry myself to sleep

at the end of the day

I’m falling apart

and nobody knows

But I’ll be okay

it’s the way it always goes.

sorry.

Once again it’s all on me

Not sure how to say sorry

Over and over it happens like this

into the ground I pound my balled fists

Maybe walking alone is best

try not to worry about all the rest

don't ever look behind you

or you know the pain’ll find you

Got me feelin’ so low

but I don’t let it show

just needa get through it

gonna push myself through it

But in case I look behind

in case time can rewind

just please listen to me

and know that I'm sorry

I'm sorry that I messed all this up

and I'm sorry that sorry will never be enough.

fly away.

Sometimes I close my eyes

and fly away to another place

don’t bother saying goodbyes

where im going no one knows my face

I'll start all over, begin anew

clear the tears from my cheek

theres nothing I wouldn’t do

to stay here week after week

But the sharp pain in my heart

brings me back to what is real

I remember how im falling apart

how nothing can help me heal.

you know the feeling you get.

You know the feeling you get when you feel all alone in a room full of people? When you know that you're surrounded by friends who care but none of them can make you feel any better? When all of those friends are willing to talk to you but you just can't find the words to describe how you feel?


Lonely. Depressed. Confused. 


You know the feeling you get when you want to be happy but you just can't? When you can laugh and smile and have fun but it's just not the same anymore? When you feel like you're losing yourself?


Sad. Frustrated. Hopeless. 


You know the feeling you get when a really good friend leaves? When you feel like you're missing something inside? When you know nothing is ever gonna make it right again?


Hurt. Heartbroken. Disappointed.

You know the feeling you get when that person moves on? When that person replaces you with someone else? When that person pretends that you don't exist, that you never meant anything in the first place?

Grief. Resent. Vulnerable.

You know the feeling you get when you know that you messed up? When you know that it's all your fault? When you know that there's nothing you can do to fix it?


Anger. Guilt. Regret.


You know the feeling you get when everything starts falling apart?



F e a r .


You know the feeling you get when you start to get over it?


Hope. Relief. Courage.


You know the feeling you get when you finally start to forgive yourself? When you realize that it's not worth the tears anymore? When you realize that you're better than this?


Secure. Confident. Peace.


You know the feeling you get when you can go a whole day without feeling bad about yourself? When you know that you're loved? When you can go a day without thinking about it?


Optimistic. Tranquil. Happy.


You know the feeling you get when you realize that you don't need them anymore? When their name just doesn't make you smile anymore? When you start to really laugh and really smile?


Calm. Strong. Together.


You know the feeling you get when you're comfortable being alone with your thoughts? When you know that everything's gonna be okay? When you know that you're gonna be okay?

race.

I run into the woods

letting everything go

losing my focus

going out of control

I push on and on

the trees whiz past

the ground is all blurry

im going way too fast

I stop and fall to the ground

as tears streak down my face

my head makes the world spin

there’s no way ill finish this race

Gotta end this right now

it’s a race against time

I gotta make it all stop

under pressure in the mind

But I cant handle the pain

its all become too great

my life was filled with love

but now all that’s left is hate.